One way to understand people is by understanding their core elements.
There are 4 basic elements of which each person is made:
Each person has all 4 elements in them.
Yet, usually 1 or 2 of these elements are more dominant.
Each element comes with its strengths (ie. positive qualities) and weaknesses (ie. negative qualities).
If you are a logical person, you might dismiss this framework and think that its outdated. But I think you should give it a try.
Since I’ve learned this framework over a decade ago, it helped me to understand and relate to people better. This framework also helped me to see people from their core element and avoid breaking important relationships.
Let’s explore each element to get a better understanding.
- Earth doesn’t move much, so it gives a feeling of stability and calm.
- Earth is the foundation of other elements. Without earth, other elements cannot thrive.
- Earth holds life, especially when its combined with Water.
When you think of a person whose main element is earth – think of someone who doesn’t talk much, who is a good listener. It’s a person who usually doesn’t rush and gives time freely. It’s a reliable person who you can trust. On the flip side, a person with an earth element can easily get sad or depressed.
- Wind is about movement and speech.
- Wind pushes things forward.
- Wind doesn’t like to stay in 1 place.
When you think of a person with a strong Wind element – think of someone who can easily speak for a long time and who is naturally a quick moving person. That person is usually easy to talk to and they can connect with many people quickly.
People with Wind element can get bored easily and have a desire to move to the next thing quickly. It’s harder to focus on one thing fully. They need to be careful with their speech, as its easier for them to make up lies or gossip. Spending money without consideration also comes from the Wind element.
- Fire is light and heat.
- Fire brings excitement.
- Fire is also a renewal element as it destroys (burns) to make space for new growth.
People with a dominant Fire element are usually more ambitious and determined. They can inspire others with their energy and a desire for growth. It’s easier for them to take risks and make bold moves.
On the flip side, Fire element can be a source of anger, envy and revenge. It can easily burn relationships because of a desire to be right and seek respect. Fire fuels a strong Ego.
- Water gives life.
- Water is a source of pleasure.
- Water is a renewal element.
When you think of a person with a dominant Water element – think of someone who naturally likes to take care of other people. That person is easy going and flexible. They like to enjoy life.
On the flip side, Water element causes a person to seek too much pleasure, and sometimes over indulge. It’s also easy for that person to give too much.
Elements Need Each Other
What is interesting is how much each element depends on the other to thrive.
This might explain why people struggle on their own, and need others to have a full life.
- Earth needs Fire and Wind in order get inspired and start moving – to avoid falling into sadness.
- Wind needs Earth to feel stable and have boundaries – to avoid loosing focus and speaking too much.
- Fire needs Earth to stand, and Water to slow down and enjoy – to avoid being ambitious in a destructive way.
- Water needs Earth to flow, and Fire to get excited – to avoid overindulging in physical pleasures.
It’s also important to remember that balance is important. Too much of one Element can create problems.
For example, Fire needs Wind to burn – but if there is too much Wind – the Fire might burn out or become uncontrollable.
Elements in Marriage
There is a saying that “opposites attract”.
I noticed that many couples are actually opposites in their core elements.
For example – one partner might be Wind & Fire dominant and the other Earth & Water dominant.
They build their relationship because of a good chemistry of elements they had from the beginning.
This chemistry might shift over time because of different circumstances, while the core usually remains the same. That’s why some couples split up when they have lifestyle changes – jobs, kids, money, etc – but later might regret that choice (ie. when they are back to their core elements).
Usually the source of issues in relationship is lack of understanding of partner’s core elements.
The qualities of each element are expressed with needs. When those needs are not being met, then issues can happen in marriage.
For example, when one partner is Wind dominant, she might need a sense of stability. So, the other partner needs to recognize this and provide that need without taking things personally.
Pay Attention to Elements
Pay attention to people around you.
Notice their dominant elements.
It can actually be a fun game that you will begin to enjoy.
People usually love to talk about themselves.
You can start a topic of conversation during dinner.
Ask everyone “what do you think is your core element?”
Let me know how this works for you.